routine
by silent-entrance
Summary: he thinks he's running out of time, but he lost his watch so he doesn't mind. one sided lilyxsirius


**Monday**

He's in charms waiting for the lesson to start, and A Girl with blonde hair is sitting on his desk and A Girl with brown hair is sitting on his lap but The Girl with red hair is sitting two seats down, with his Best Mates hand on her knee and even though he wants to listen to what the two girls are talking about (but he doesn't really, because he's getting a headache and they're sort of annoying) all he can hear is Lily Evans voice laughing at something James has said, and even though he wants to see the two girls shamelessly throwing themselves at him (but he doesn't really, because her boobs are too big and her lips are too red) all he can see is /handsonkneeslipsonnecks/ red hair and green eyes and _fuck, one day she's going to be Mrs James Potter and you need to just accept that._

He can't decide between crying or punching someone, and he's never been more grateful that Flitwick's voice telling the class to settle down stops him needing to choose.

**Tuesday**__

It's those moments of hesitation which give him hope- the glance between the seat next to himself and the seat on Jamsie's lap. The hesitation before the perfectly-and-pathetically-platonic hug goodnight, the awkward silence when _hands brush over spell books _and _if we can't remember it in the morning it doesn't count _and James doesn't notice because James is too busy with his throne to pay attention to his Queen, but Sirius notices everything because _he knows there isn't enough time to miss something._

He's exhausted and it's late (early?) when he turns around a corner, wiping Jessica (Jennifer?) from his lips and runs straight into Lily (dating James, no question marks) with that look on her face which means she's not impressed and that book in her hand which means she's doing patrols. What follows is a conversation full of pleases and no's and _I can't keep covering for you_'s and _just this once Lil's, please_'s until finally Lily gives in with a sigh and a half-smile which shouldn't be there but is, and Sirius proclaims _I love you_ and waits for the _I love you too, you insane nutter, now go to bed_ because that's the way it should be because if there is anything that the two have accomplished in this ridiculous friendship, it's routine, but it doesn't come, and if it weren't for the fact that Sirius Black doesn't get worried, he would be.

**Wednesday**

James is doing late-night detention and Remus is in the hospital wing and Peter fell asleep and it's just them in the common room, _just him and her and just Sirius and Lily and he likes the sound of their names together _and he's flicking scrunched up bits of parchment at the first years when they're not looking and she's (laughing because she thinks he's funnier than James, he knows it) reading a book with her head on his lap and he thinks _if someone saw us right now, they'd think we were together. _He thinks, _I could lean down and kiss her right now. _He thinks, _this is so easy, _and he thinks and he thinks but he doesn't act, and then it's too late because the portrait door swings open and it's his best friend and he's never hated him more than he does when he sits on the ground next to her head and kisses her and it's like he's not there, which he takes as his cue to leave.

Sirius Black doesn't do invisibility unless there's a cloak involved, and he knows for a fact it's sitting in Moony's trunk.

**Thursday**

He hears Remus in his bed moaning, and not the type which everyone knows means 'get out' because that's just polite, plus Moony went to sleep hours ago- it's past 3am. And then it turns into more of a whimper so he slips out of his bed and into his, and keeps the appropriate amount of distance while still being able to hold the smaller boys hand, because this is routine also and Sirius loves consistency. It means it will still be there in the morning.

He wants to help battle whatever monsters are going on inside his friends head, but he's too busy trying to fight his own. So he falls asleep, clutching the smaller hand within his own, because James's bed is still empty and it's not long until the next full moon, and sometimes it's easier trying to stop the monsters than get rid of them all together.

**Friday**

Sirius Black decides it's time to get over this _whatever the fuck it is_ because James is his brother and nothing will change that, not even a girl who he thinks he'd be in love with if he knew what it felt like.

**Saturday**

James Potter gives him a _look _which is this weird mix of concern and confusion and he feels so so awful for all the things he has thought until he notices that Lily slips her hand out of his grasp and suddenly he can only think one thing and that is _what would happen if I grabbed it, _and even though he knows the answer, he still wants to test.

Remus Lupin gives him a _look _which says 'I know, okay, I know that you look at her that bit too long, I know that you can't sleep when James isn't in the room because we both know where he is instead,' and he wants to feel ashamed but instead he thinks 'if Remus accepts it, why can't everyone else?'

Peter Pettigrew gives him a _look_ which doesn't say much at all, really.

Lily Evans gives him a _look_ which is a bit too intense for the situation, and probably means 'good morning' but could mean 'I want to shag you in a broom closet,' and he forgets all about the vow he made to himself last night (last night? This morning? He doesn't have time for time.)

**Sunday**

And Sirius Black is sitting in the common room, doing the Charms homework due the next day, and The (His) Girl is sitting next to him doing this thing with her hair that makes it all sorts of difficult for him to concentrate, so he goes to bed and waits for it all to start again. And it's bittersweet and sort of painful, but he doesn't mind because this way he gets to keep both of them.

**I really need to stop shipping Lily and Sirius, I feel guilty. Read and review **


End file.
